Friday, June 8, 2012

Trial by fire...

Our story continued to amaze and completely astonish us as we literally watched the hand of God unfold the pieces of what appeared to be an ornate tapestry!

Monday morning came after a long night of praying and asking God what in the world He was up to.  Have you ever had one of those nights where you weren't lying awake with worry, but with wonder?  That was our night!  Tossing and turning and dreaming and imagining.  It was almost too much for me to comprehend!

Monday evening was a workday for me, a dinner to cater near Taylorsville, Mississippi, but food was not what captivated my thoughts that day.  I worked furiously that morning to prepare all the food that would be needed for the dinner that evening and then had the most amazing friends/co-workers deliver and serve it for the event that night.  The thoughts that kept sweeping over me were of peace... peace about a land that I knew would soon belong to someone else.  Peace that I couldn't begin to understand and the excitement of it all was so thick I couldn't brush it away from my face.

Our son, Ryan, about to be a senior at his school in Jones County, hadn't seen the place that I'd talked to him about.  I told him that it was about 30 minutes away from his school, but that I really thought he would like to see it.  As we drove southward toward the "land of peace", Ryan was doubtful again about the chances of our being able to move away from the house we'd lived in all this time.  And as we got closer to the turn, he said, "Mama, this is just too far to have to drive to school every day for a whole year."

I told him I understood that this was going to be a challenge, if it even could work out for us, but to just keep an open mind.  I told him I would let him decide if he could stand it or not and for him to reserve his judgement until he saw the place.

Needless to say, as we pulled onto the farm, that now almost familiar peaceful silence fell over the car again.  As we pulled into the drive I felt like I was driving home... for the first time in my entire life I felt like this was the home that I had waited 45 years to see.  And I guess Ryan felt it, too.  That same spark of hope that I had experienced just one day earlier caught hold in my son!  I saw his eyes shift back and forth across the lay of the land, his shoulders relaxing, his smile broadening, his heart almost visibly pounding... peace and hope had finally begun to spring up in my son, too.  And I heard the words I've longed to hear all my life, "Mama.  I may never leave!"

We drove back home and for the very first time, Paul and I sat down and put the excitement and words that had thus far been kept silent out on the table.  We talked together about what we were both thinking and feeling about this place that Tammy and David had shared with us.  Peace was all around us:  peace that rushed through us like a mighty, rolling river!  Everything was moving very quickly but there was never a sense of being out of control.  As a matter of fact, the exact opposite was true.  We both felt like everything was happening and it was literally the hand of God directing it all and there was nothing we could do to change it, control it, speed it up or stop it.

Paul and I had worked for all those years on so many other plans and ideas.  We poured our hearts and our sweat into the plans we had made on our own and without fail, they would crash right in front of our eyes and we would be completely devastated.  We have always both been hard workers and were more than willing to put in more than our fair share of work to get closer to the dreams were dreaming.  But those dreams were always just out of reach, and our plans and good ideas were never quite good enough.  We spoke often about that promise, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4.... but the 'desire of our heart' just seemed too far out of our reach.  That is until we saw this amazing place.

On that Monday evening, we sat in the little house in Jones County, in near silence.  We prayed and we talked a few minutes about what we dreamed about and what we felt.  But this night led us both to the same conclusion;  David and Tammy were looking at buying this place and it was their's to have.  Even though several comments had been made over the course of the past 48 hours, Paul and I were faced with way more questions than answers.  The main question had to do with whether David and Tammy were going to buy the place or not.  If they were still going to buy the farm, none of the other questions in our mind were going to matter.  

The logical thing for us to have done would be to wait patiently for God to send a phone call or another email our way.  But the two little kids had already peeked through the windows at the candy store and we were about to tear the doors down!  Paul picked up the phone and called David then and there.

I listened as Paul spoke to his friend.  Excitement and calm vied for position in my throat.  Peace fell over us in that living room for the first time in all the past nine years.  David explained to Paul that the doors had simply closed for them and that they had prayed at their kitchen table and knew that God had been holding that farm for us.  As Paul relayed the conversation back to me it was almost like an out of body experience in some movie.  At that very moment I felt as though our family had boarded a train, and that only the Engineer of the train had control of the speed, the destination, the layovers and all of the other passengers that would be going along on this ride.  But believe me when I say that I was going to hold on to my ticket with everything in me!

Another night came and went without much sleep being had!  Paul went to work the next morning and I had a play/lunch date with my friends Sarah and Tracie.  Just before I walked into the little lunch/play place I got a phone call, from Tammy.  She began to pour out her heart to me and we cried about the intense feeling we had that none of us were in control of this particular event.  Then she shared with me the most amazing story.

Tammy is a contractor and has worked in that business for several years.  Hattiesburg, Mississippi is just not that big of a place so people who are peers in business run into each other often.  She had pulled into a gas station on the day before she sent out that first email requesting prayer for that "opportunity", and had run into another contractor, Russell, whom she hadn't seen in over a year!  She pulled in headed one direction at the pumps, he pulled in opposite her going the other direction.  They pumped gas for a few minutes and visited about family and business goings on, and then Russell finished pumping his gas and drove away.  But then he stopped and backed up to the pump again and asked Tammy this question, "You don't know anyone that would be interested in buying a farm, do you?"

Tammy said to me then that God told her, "yeah, Rhonda does."  She smiled at Russell and told him that she did, in fact, know of someone looking for a farm.  She explained to him that she would be more than happy to go look at the place and then share the information with her friends from Jones County and see what they thought.

That evening, Tammy and David and their children drove out to the farm on Slade Road and their hearts were captivated by the beauty of that place.  At that point, they knew that the place could really be the answer to their prayers, as well, and that they would be more than interested in buying it.

As the weeks passed and the questions were asked, David and Tammy knew that God had some plan for this farm on Slade Road.  They didn't know the plan but they trusted God to be God, and because they had been seeking Him every step of the way, they were both very excited to see what He was planning to do next.

As I sat there on the phone with my friend, hearing her celebrate handing over an amazing baton of faith, I knew that God's hand was truly at the wheel of this train!  I was completely overwhelmed by His timing, His immeasurable provision, and the use of His own children to accomplish the work He had so clearly designed.  Humility had taken my breath away, because there was nothing about Paul and me that could possibly deserve this blessing or could ever accomplish it on our own.  At the end of our conversation, that sweet Tammy told me that she had already called Russell and told him that they wouldn't be able to buy his place, but that Paul and I were the one's that God had held the farm for.  She said, "Just call him... he has your phone numbers and he's waiting to hear from you."

I immediately called Paul, of course I was in tears and in no shape to talk to anyone else on the phone for the entire day!  I went in to have lunch with my friends... but who could eat?  And then just waited to hear back from Paul.

So there we were.  Tuesday morning... after only seeing the farm just 2 days before on Sunday afternoon... and the baton had been placed in our hands.  Kids playing, friends praying, Rhonda pacing, and Paul having a wonderful conversation with a stranger that God had just placed in our path.

Paul called me back in about an hour and a half to relay to me the conversation.  He spoke to me of the kindest man he'd ever spoken to on the phone.  Russell had shared with him stories about buying the old farmhouse and completely remodeling it.  He spoke about the old barn and how he had added onto it once they had moved.  He told Paul about the hours he had spent creating the pool house from the leftover material he had used at the barn and around the farm.  He shared with him his stories of raising his daughters on that farm and about the love for horses that his youngest daughter had enjoyed.  Russell also shared with Paul the heartache they had experienced during Hurricane Katrina and the devastation that swept over the farm.  The months and months of clean up had worn them down and the upkeep on the farm had become more than they were able to manage, given all the other activities and commitments they shared.

Then Paul told me that Russell wanted to meet us for lunch on Wednesday.  The next day, Wednesday!  Less than 24 hours, Wednesday!  I honestly didn't imagine I would live to see the next 24 hours as my heart would likely not be able to take all the pressure.

Thankfully, I lived through the night and the lunch was set!  We met at Newk's and I was an hour early.  I sat in the parking lot and read my Bible.  It really was the only thing that would help ease the nerves that seemed to be exploding on the inside of me.  And just in time for lunch, Paul strolls over to my car window and asks if I was ready for lunch.  He was as cool as a cucumber!  He looked like he was on his way to watch a paint drying tournament!  He was supposed to be the 'nervous Nellie' in our family and I was the one with nerves of steel!  What in the world had happened?  How could the roles be so backward?

So I gracefully exited the vehicle, took hold of the only arm in town that could steady my steps, and we walked side by side to meet the man with the keys.  And he was wonderful.  We enjoyed our visit and Paul and I both felt like we were at a reunion with an old friend.  They spoke more freely than me, but I so enjoyed the conversation, hearing my Paul share his heart with Russell, and to see this friendship in the making.  The only thing I could share was my feeling that we had all just boarded a train and that none of us were going to be able to change the outcome of the trip.  God had hand selected all these passengers and had long since put together His own plan for this 60 acres in Lamar County, Mississippi.  Russell smile and nodded and agreed that he would consider the offer that Paul had made him, pray with his wife, Sally, and that they would call us as soon as they knew what they were going to do.  We shook hands and left the restaurant...

Then I feasted on God's Word!  What an encourager our God is when we seek Him with all our heart.  Look at the encouragement He was able to pick for me on that day...

1 Peter 1:6  So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

How do those words of God permeate your heart tonight?  I know the details of our story may seem silly to some and like a waste of good world wide web space!  But your story is the one that matters the most to me, personally.  The faith that you've seen pushed around and all the trials that you've faced are the real interest of my heart.  And the reason they matter to me is because I know - beyond a shadow of a doubt - that the Word of God that has been true for my family, is true for you.  The tests of fire that you are going through right now are for a holy purpose.

The only reason that fine metals are put into extreme heat is so that the impurities that hide deep within that metal can be burned away.  As that waste - or dross - comes to the surface it can be easily removed by the Craftsman and all that's left is the steely, molten hot liquid that can be turned into a work of perfection in the hands of that Master Craftsman.

The pride and self-centeredness that consumed our lives was burned out of us.  Frustration and disrespect was imbedded deep within me and it had to go through some pretty intense heat before it would turn loose.  Fear and anger were in left in our hearts from past hurt and the sin of unforgiveness was clinging on for everything in it.  The heat became almost unbearable for us at times.  Honestly, it would have been so much easier to simply escape the fire and live with the impurities.

But please hear me, friend, I will take the fire of God and the tests and the trials every single time to know that He loves me enough to try me so that He can reward that faith.  When my Jesus bursts through those clouds to call His children home, I want Him to see His own fingerprints in me.  I want Him to recognize the sound of my voice, because I've called out to Him so many times before.  I want Him to know the tears of joy that are running down my face, because He knows that it was His own hand that delivered these blessings to me.  

And when He returns, I won't lay gold or silver at His feet, I'll be able to lay before Him the faith that He Himself purified with fire.

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